Ri Ruv Rooo!

Oh my god. People pretending to be their own animals on social networking sites = lame. I recall one such member woofing out their message on someone else’s non-animal-related message board to the dismay of, well, probably just me. What is wrong with you people!

Huff, puff, rainbows and unicorns and…okay, where was I.

I’ve come up with some inspirational poster captions for anyone who wants to Photoshop them into an image and pin that above their workspace:

ONE DAY, YOUR IDOLS WILL ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR EXISTANCE MAYBE

DO YOU REALLY NEED THAT SECOND STARBUCKS COOKIE?

IT’S OKAY, NO ONE WILL READ IT ANYWAY

IS THAT A GUN IN YOUR POCKET, OR ARE YOU JUST IN DESPERATE NEED OF A NEW iPOD?

NOBODY HAS EVER SAID A BAD WORD ABOUT YOU AND THOSE WHO HAVE ARE SMALL, SAD PEOPLE. EVEN ME. NO, ESPECIALLY ME. (You could put this caption over your mother or Santa Claus or the nosy next door neighbour with smartly dressed kids and a better car, for instance)

It’s getting down to the wire at work, and with only six full days left, I should be more concerned than I am but know what? I am not. Because surely I have recourse to point to the part in my contract that says I’m an underpaid drone with no agency and say WHAT? SORRY, I COULDN'T HEAR YOU - I HAVE A BIT OF BULLSHIT LODGED IN MY EAR! when they tell me I’ve screwed up.

Though I am a little bit concerned, so. G’bye.