x365: 25 of 365 - Mrs. V

You ridiculed me in grade six for using ‘devastated’ to describe failure. Is it because you didn’t believe I knew what it meant? Or because my average mark didn’t endorse the sentiment?

x365: 24 of 365 - Ellen

We (I) wanted details. Your diary: Darren’s a fucking prick (slow-dancing with a camper; thrilling betrayal). I sent you colour-coded mail. We (I) once looked you up. Alone, I’d dial the number.

x365: 23 of 365 - Lindsay

Baby-doll dresses, combat boots, tremulous voice, grabbing my hand – you were thrilling, frightening even. That you attended Sunday church with your parents and had grey pile carpet in your bedroom was perplexing.

x365: 22 of 365 - Pants

You were the only one who didn’t pull away from me when I got sick; I’ll always be grateful to you for that. You’re probably still better than me at paraphrasing.

x365: 21 of 365 - Chris K

We laughed at you, Tex and me. I’m glad you’re a fuck-up, and that your ex-girlfriend married a scientologist. Go pass out on a Salisbury steak, you waste of screen time.

X365: 20 of 365 – Claire…

is awfully distracted by whatever hair accessory you’re wearing. Her eyes ping unnervingly between your face and your hair. Because she likes it? Or it’s an atrocity? Spell it out, Claire.

X365: 19 of 365 – Sandwich girl

You made me a sandwich, the day after Valentine’s Day. You’d been beaten up pretty badly. We cracked jokes. I couldn’t understand you because of your accent, and because you mumble.

X365: 18 of 365 – James Ash

I blame you for any subsequent upheaval in relationships that stemmed from a paralysing fear of betrayal, when really, I should blame adolescence. But every difficult lesson needs a poster child.

X365: 17 of 365 – Vicky M

You lied constantly; you hit me when we were friends and you put a cigarette out on my neck when we weren’t. I felt pity when you were ostracised much later.

x365: 16 of 365 - Chad

I wasn’t sure who had it worse: you or me. But all our various games had the same objective – a dependable system of punishment and reward we could both live with.

x365: 15 of 365 - Alison

bought her first car at age 16. She’d drive slowly past storefront windows to see herself reflected in her new vehicle. I could see my reflection too, in the passenger’s seat.

x365: 14 of 365 - Husband

Your beauty often stuns me into silence but then you say something funny and I have to respond. So the result is pretty goofy at times. In case you ever wondered.

x365: 13 of 365 - Infinity

Your countenance is blank and ugly. In an aeon, will the ghost of my consciousness stir just enough to moan at the horror of your work? Let us never meet there.

X365: 12 of 365 - Cloudesley

subverts mythology. This we know for sure: as the founding member of DAS and The National Pissed, he is never far from beer. He’s taking care of our cats over Christmas.

x365: 11 of 365 - Graham

You'd pick me up on your scooter after Alison went to bed and we'd park and watch rabbits in the schoolyard. It started off innocently enough. We were a terrible match.

x365: 10 of 365 - Old Rosemary

lived next door and owned a sulky Persian cat named Champ(ingion). I once licked Rosemary's inner arm and slapped a temporary tattoo there before she could react. My mother was horrified.

X365: 9 of 365 – Phil in sales

Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please shut up!

X365: 8 of 365 – Bad Touch* Anthony

I guess you type Ja because you’re Scottish? I wish you didn’t accidentally on purpose find opportunities to make inappropriate physical contact with me. And that you’d wash your hair sometimes.

*as I privately refer to him

x365: 7 of 365 - Bruce

Christmas eve, the night before our engagement, you asked if you were dreaming. Compliantly I pinched you, but a bit too hard. I’m sorry for that. I love you so much.

X365: 6 of 365 – Rob the Line Producer

You caused me more psychological trauma than my mother and nervous breakdown combined. But even though I’d never work in film again, I still have a soft spot for you. WTF?