16 November 2007

Consider yourself one of us

It is my one year anniversary of moving to the UK. I plan to celebrate by working my ass off and then falling down dead probably.

This week has been one of most taxing, at least in terms of business and exhaustion, but I think I’ve managed to keep all my proverbial balls in the air. (The non-proverbial balls are sitting on my bedside table in a glass of water.)

Looking back on things generally, I know I’m in a much, much better place than I was this time last year. My confidence at work has grown exponentially and I’m able to get around on my own now without becoming very lost and/or panicky.

I’ve lost an entire stone (14 lbs for those of you measuring in modern times) and am far less angry and anxious about everything. The self-destructive tendencies I used to possess have all but dissipated, my only remaining vice being a quick (but thorough) nibble on my cuticles.

Most importantly perhaps, I’ve learned that in maintaining happiness, the end often justifies the means, especially if the means involve not giving into those little voices that do their utmost to trip you up. If you can keep on top of the voices, you’ll have much more energy for the fun stuff, like love and cooking and banjo.

I’m not resting on my laurels though - I’ve still got a long way to go. This year I’ll do some of the things that scare the hell out of me, like widening our social circle with some friends of my own and focusing my energies less on television (or something else, maybe…eating?) and more on the things I want to accomplish, big and small.

One day I’ll hit my stride and stop scrutinizing everything and everyone and just settle into life as I would a soft, comfortable armchair. That’s my hope.

Oh, this just in – My Bloody Valentine have reformed and are playing some shows here in June, and Bruce managed to score us two tickets for my birthday. Hot damn! Now we just have to remember to attend.

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