Oookay

There’s a woman I sometimes see at the same point on my route to work in the mornings, travelling in the opposite direction on foot. Her awkward frame and cautious advancement brings to mind a set of china teacups, precariously stacked and then carried tremblingly off to the kitchen. I used to think I wanted to be very thin, and I still do, but that’s maybe a bit too thin.

Completely unrelated to this, I’ve been going off food recently, specifically sandwiches, to the extent where I have had to cut out all sandwich fillings save for cheese. But today, somehow even cheese on bread managed to creep me out. It felt like I was eating something dusty, even though it tasted fine and the bread and cheese were both newly purchased. I don’t like eating cooked food at lunch, but not eating lunch at all isn’t an option.

So I think I may have to bite the bullet and start taking leftovers to heat up in the microwave. I’ll need the biggest bullet you’ve got, though, as the idea of eating a hot, whiffy lunch in an open concept office is about as appealing to me as the idea of masturbating in front of Santa Claus. Less, even.

(Somewhat related,) I watched a bizarre French film (redundant?) off pay-per-view last night, called L’Ennui. I thought it would be an easy way of staying engaged in something, as conventional narratives register less and less the longer I’m alone.

Luckily it turned out to be a much smarter film than its explicit synopsis gave it credit for, and it’s been repeating on me all morning. One thing I can’t get over is how the leading lady (uh, girl) and I seem to share a similar body type (though I have nicer breasts, obviously). It makes me think that rake thin girls aren’t all that, necessarily.

I can’t imagine Ms Tipsy Teacups being very sensual astride her chauvinistic mate, for instance, and nor would I want to imagine such a thing! Nonononono. My imagination has officially fled the country. I am all about staying in the moment now, just as the Dog Whisperer prescribed.

At the moment, one of the few remaining sales people on this floor just about fell off his chair for no reason. That was funny.