Where's my unhappy ending gone?

Today I went grocery shopping.

I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal, but believe me, when your instinctive reaction to being alone is to shut down completely, doing something like leaving the house to forage in the urban jungle is a very big deal.

It’s strange to think that I have no problem managing a troublesome workload across several teams and domains and yet the prospect of dodging strangers to put produce in a cart and then handle a transaction at the end of it all makes me break out in a sweat, even if all goes well.

The Dog Whisperer had an episode where some woman was prone to anxiety attacks and needed a work dog to be with her at all times, because the work dog had a calming effect on her. Bruce is like my work dog, I guess, as these are anxieties I completely forget I have until he’s not around.

I really like the programme, not only because Caesar makes me laugh whenever he imitates the behaviour of a dog, but because I get to see a wide range of women behaving more neurotically than their pets.

In the same way that Caesar’s pack keeps every individual member-dog in check, I’m able to gauge my behaviour against the general masses and see that 1. I’m not so bad, really and 2. There are areas I need to improve in.

If I could live the balanced life of a calm, submissive animal, I think all my problems would be solved. I don’t need a pack or a work dog to tell me this, but it helps to remember that unless something really bad is taking place over an extended period of time, it’s pointless to get worked up about life when it’s just going along as life does.

I know, I know. I need to get out more. This week though, I promise.