05 May 2008

Some of my best friends are musicians

You know that whole adage about ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, keep your blooming gob shut, &ct’? Yes, well, I’m still here, trying to think of something nice to say.

But honestly, I get around the internet these days and all I can picture is an infinity of monkeys on an infinity of typewriters, except that instead of one of them producing Shakespeare, virtually all of them are patting themselves on the back for escaping the circus, and for being able to tell the difference between a typewriter and a banana in the first place.

But if a monkey types in a forest and nobody is around to read what it’s written, has the monkey actually written anything? And! Is there even a monkey?

You know? So it’s a dilemma.

Then I was watching a BBC programme about these young kids who are passionate about their oboes or whatever, and it finally dawned on me that even though they will have to calibrate their personalities until they’ve attained the right mixture of awkwardness to parts arrogance, they don’t need someone to witness them alone in their concrete rooms playing the same bridge over and over and over again until they get it right. And do you know why?

(Here’s where the ‘nice’ comes in, I promise.)

Because they are only practicing. It’s what they are practicing for that sets them apart from everyone else on earth who owns an instrument that is gathering dust in a prominent corner of their living room.

One pod person music teacher pointed out that it’s a tough job finding talent, dedication and intelligence in the same place. What he didn’t elaborate on - since musicians sometimes have trouble seeing beyond the glare of their own genius - is that you can apply this formula to any success known to monkeys man humankind – it just makes sense.

So here I am - horribly out of practice and yet determined not to run for the safety of my television set until I’ve spent some quality time with my word processor. It’s not a concrete room, as you can plainly see – not yet. But just wait until I close the door.

It’s going to happen one of these days. I’m telling you. Monkey to monkey.


Anonymous said...

Typing monkeys?! The very thought...

pk said...

It's a binary thing though, isn't it, appropriately enough.....either there's nobody in which case do you exist at all etc, or there's 1+, and it only has to be one, in which case you definitely do, and aren't practising but performing. In your concrete room you can be Scrodinger's cat, or rather monkey, and both be and not be, thus avoiding 'the question'

Anonymous said...

Lass - hahaha, you probably inspired the metaphor! Metaphorically speaking, of course. You're no monkey. You're more of a . . . cactus plant? With a pink blossom at your centre? Ahhh, phoey.

Mrs Slocombe - as per usual you have me running to Wiki to see if I have it down correctly. Except that this time it was Bruce. And I said, "That's where he killed the cat and then tried to maintain that it was still alive according to the laws of physics or sumink, yeah?" And the sun set, crickets chirped, a dog howled in the distance...

Anonymous said...

I like to think of myself as an enigma wrapped in a riddle coated in premenstrual rage. Today, anyway. :)

pk said...

Do they have crickets in Muswell Hill? Anyway inspired by your musings I tapped out in my simian way a monkey thing about the Mekons and the tribe of apes came knocking in their hundreds, quite possibly by chance of course: I was well chuffed, so thanks a lot.
The good thing about real life is that there is no Wiki, so that one's friends just say:"what? what are you on about? get your hand off it for god's sake" and so on, thus keeping one in check.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jacks,

I'm in Calgary with Crystal and we were looking at your Flickr. She liked the photos and was wondering what kind of camera you use. Can you email me the make?



PS: Only a month and a half left!!